krishnalal Shridharanni

"But he understood at last what Dumbledore had been trying to tell him. It
was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a
battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high.
Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two
ways, but Dumbledore knew--and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce
pride, and so did my parents--that there was all the difference in the
world."
~p.479 Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

This morning I was feeling pretty powerless. I won't go into details on a public blog, but let's just say some family truths came to light, and when light shows in dark places it's often a scary thing to behold. What happened? Did you ever have a feeling about something or someone, an instict we'll call it, and know down deep inside that it was true, while at the same time hoping and praying with all of your might that it wasn't true? I even asked friends and family, repeatedly, to tell me I was crazy, I was overreacting, I was wrong. Turns out, I wasn't. So I was feeling pretty crappy. And powerless to change things. And like I wanted someone to stop the world so I could get off and stop having to be a powerless adult. And I exhausted myself, crying myself to sleep.

This morning, I woke to the sounds of my Tico family: youngest host brother feigning a stomach ache to get out of a test at school today, host mom running around getting breakfast ready and kids off to school, fresie cleaning the kitchen...and I just didn't want to think about the truth anymore. I wanted to get away, so I brought Harry Potter with me to work. I waited for the bus for 20 minutes and it never showed (which gave me 20 minutes to fume about the truth) and then decided to take a cab. Rather than converse with the driver, I whipped out my Harry Potter. And to my surprise, I had dog-eared one page in the entire 600+ page book. And on that page was the quotation above. And after reading it, something changed in my mind and heart. I realized that I'm only powerless in this situation if I choose to be. I can, will, and have to pray, but I also have to act. And one thing is still at my disposal: nonviolent resistance. The power of the powerless. The tool of changing hearts and minds through love and non-cooperation. Ghandi stuff. MLK stuff. Lysistrata stuff. War without violence. All based in faith, hope and love.

So, now I'm excited. I can't wait to do the research, to plow through all my books, all my readings, all my experience on non-violent resistance and non-cooperation. Finally, I get to put into practice all of this training I've had for the last seven years. I have to create a plan, devise a strategy, think of contingencies, and put the process in motion. I have a short timeframe, but enough time to (hopefully) make a dent. Make an impact. Time to get going.